Monday, June 18, 2012
It's about time I posted a new post to let everyone know that has been donating that I have received their products and they have all been given to a new home. Memorial day came and went. I know this holiday was origianly made to respect the veterans, but I also look at it as a holiday to repsect all of our loved ones that have gone before us. I have just sent a son on a Latter Day Saints mission to Tallahassee, Florida. It was hard as i will not (see) him for 2 years. I will hear from him weekly of course, but not having him in our home has been really weird. I miss him. At first, it reminded me of my mourning period with Zachary. It felt so much like that. But when I got his first letter, it was much better. And also, know that he loves where he is and what he is doing has helped a great deal. We have had quite a few losses of young adults in our small town lately, and my heart goes out to all of these mothers who are beginning to walk the path that so many of us are on. I have to say that I am glad that I am a little further down the path as the beginning was so hard....not that it isn't hard now, it's just different. I have a different perspective. I have people in my life that share losses of the same nature, and I do not feel so alone. I guess this is why Mothers of Angels is so important to me. I don't want anyone to lose a child and feel alone. I want them to be able to preserve their memories in their hearts as well as on paper for anyone of their choosing to see. I count my blessings daily as I really am so very blessed. My daughter is pregnant with a little boy who is due the same time of the month of September that Zachary left us. She is naming him Zachary Landon. It will be amazing to have another little Zach around to love and spoil. He will not replace his uncle Zach, but he will be a gentle reminder of the great uncle that he is named after. I expect him to be his own person and he will make his own place in the world. Yet I will be his grandma. The best of both worlds in my opinion! A gentle reminder that love never leaves us....it just grows and goes on. All of my love goes out to my kindred spirits that are on this journey with me and also to express gratitude for the scrapbook supplies that you have so generously donated to Mothers of Angels. Bless your Hearts, Marcie
at 3:30 PM
Thursday, March 22, 2012
It seems like the weather in Utah can't decide whether to stay warm or cold! I'm hoping for warm! I would like to thank the ladies that have really come through for Mothers of Angels lately and have sent me boxes of supplies. I get them from all over the country! Please let me assure you that your generosity is realized and I am so grateful for you. I am coming up on the would be 25th birthday of my son Zachary. It is hard to believe that he has been gone for 9 1/2 years! It seems like yesterday! I have to be honest and say that I thought it would feel better by now, but no. It still hurts so much! I have come to the conclusion that the missing him is what hurts the most. Also wondering what he would be doing and who he might have been. I do understand that it was his time to go home, but somehow, there are times that even knowing that it doesn't make a difference. I am such a different person now then I was before Zach passed away. There have been so many young people who have passed away in the last few months! Everytime I see an obituary of a child or young adult or hear of one passing away, my heart hurts so much for their mother. The pain of losing a child is so physical...much more than I ever could have imaginined. Yet, through the pain, I see a silver lining. I have been blessed to meet so many wonderful people that share this journey with me who are now kindred spirits. I count my blessings regularly because I do have so many to count!!! My son Levi is leaving on an LDS mission on April 18. He has been called to Tallahassee Florida. I can't think about the fact that I won't see him for 2 years or I would really lose it. I just try to focus on the good that he will be doing and how his life will change for the better. I have wonderful children who are growing up and making responsible decisions. I also have 2 adorable granddaughters who bring me so much jjoy! Life would be dull without them!!! They love me unconditionally and for that, I am grateful! I also will have a new grandbaby to celebrate right at the time that Zach left this earth. To me, this is a miracle! I have found that if I keep an attitude of gratitude, my life is much richer and fuller. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and supports me in my cause to make a difference in other peoples lives. I couldn't ask for more.
at 2:25 PM